Mommy rant

You may or may not want to keep reading.  Yesterday was one of those days.  I love Liam so much and it baffles me that we can be best friends one second and enemies the next.  Our morning was pretty typical...breakfast, caillou, playing out back, nap time. Oh and somewhere in there I fit in a quick stop to toys r us to buy some on sale summer toys for him.  We had a nice afternoon hanging out at home and I was getting dinner ready and decided I wanted corn on the cob with our meal.  So I put Liam in the car for a quick grocery store run.  When we got there he was being so well behaved that I decided not to battle getting him to sit in a cart and thought it would be fun to let him push a small cart instead since we were only getting a couple things.  He saw the apples "balls" and wanted one, so i let him put a few in a bag and we put them in the cart.  Then he saw bananas "anana" and so I grabbed one bunch.  Liam was not satisfied with one when there were SOO MANY!  Battling through the isles trying to get one last thing and he took off.  I picked him up with my 8 month belly in the way and carried him kicking and screaming to the cash register.  All the while the looks I was getting from fellow shoppers were less than ideal.  I set my stuff down went to pay and Liam took off again to the books.  Keeping an eye on him while checking out.  The credit card machine froze and she had to start over, typical.  Finally I'm scrambling to get everything together, I pick up Liam and head to the car while he kicks and screams and bites and spits.  By the time I was at the parking lot I was also in tears.  How could this simple shopping trip blow up to such a tantrum?  I have no idea.  I guess I can call it the terrible twos.  I bet some people would analyze my parenting choices and do something that I didn't.  Either way I was a mess.  Josh called me as soon as I got Liam wrestled into his car set, with tears streaming down both of our faces.  I took a deep breath and tried not to let Josh hear how upset I was because men just don't get it sometimes and I know I'm overly emotional with hormones.  He laughed when he heard me choking back tears (my husband knows me all to well) I told him what had happened and I said "ALL I WANTED WAS CORN ON THE COB! guess who left the store corn less?" yep.  So to Tagees fruit stand we went, determined to not let this trip be a total bust and that way Liam could sit in the car.  The corn bin was almost empty and all of the corn was picked through.  I thought to myself how typical it was that I would get the days left overs.  When we got home I finished making dinner which ended up not tasting like much since I was so grumpy.  As I was getting the plates out for dinner I cut myself and started bleeding everywhere. t.y.p.i.c.a.l.  I hurried and wrapped it up and grabbed a band aid.  While I was mending my battle scar Liam saw and said "mom, boo boo?" and I said "Ya Liam mommy has a boo boo" which he replied with "its oww?" (in his language this means does it hurt?)  "yes Liam its oww."  He then kissed my finger but from five inches away as to not get to close to the "oww".  Ugh.  My emotions were all over the place.  How does this almost two year old have so much compassion for his grumpy mom.  In his mind the battle at the grocery store was years ago.  I don't know what to say about what I learned from this.  I do not think Liams actions were ok, I do not think the way I acted was ok, I do not think my negative thinking about the universe when really my life is not so bad was ok.  I'm sure I've lost every reader by now but I wanted to blog my feelings so that one day I can look back and laugh, or learn, or cry.  I took the night off after that and after doing the dishes I headed shopping and bought myself some new boots. (retail therapy much?).  I can't say that I came home a new person, I can't even say I woke up this morning a more patient person.  I keep thinking to myself...this is normal right?  I'm not the only mom who feels this way sometimes right?  I'm all about facebook and Instagram and I love seeing fun memories being made and stories told.  But sometimes I wish I saw some real behind the scenes stories or pictures of the moms in my life.  We are all just doing our best right?  No one has this figured out.  And if you think you do then I strongly call bs.  

As I was typing this post a very unwelcome comment appeared on my fb status from a couple days ago (which has now been deleted) and since my blog is private and I really doubt anyone is still reading I would just like to express how judged I feel by this person.  I have a billion responses in my head that I would like to say in return (hence the deletion) but all I will say on here is this.  I don't have it figured out.  And i'm ok with that.  But what I do know is that I try my hardest to be a really good mom not only to Liam but to the baby on the way and at the end of the day not matter how it turns out I can lay my head on my pillow and know that my son knows he is loved and that I tell him that multiple times a day weather we are getting along or not.  He knows that when he has a problem that I can fix it, and when he is hurt I can comfort him.  I try my best and that is all I can do.  I wish this person would have remembered how it felt to have little kids and be a newish mom, I wish she could feel how frustrated I am by her comment.  But she probably won't even notice that it was deleted, she will go about her happy perfect day and not think twice about what she said.  I will think twice next time I don't agree with someones parenting style and choices and remember that they are doing their best.  I am only human, I am just a mom trying my best.  And that my friends is all I can continue to do.

Keeping up

I'm trying to stay on top of my blog, blame it on nesting.

We have had a fun summer and we are totally fine with mother nature bringing an early fall.  

Some fun things with Liam lately is he says "OK" to everything.  But it's more of an "okkeee".  While shopping one day I let him talk on a fake phone they had and he talked into it for about ten minutes saying "Hi, okkee...okeee...okee...Bye".

I know this sounds so weird but I am OBSESSED with freckles.  Josh is covered in them and I have a few here and there.  I was seriously so excited when a few weeks ago this little gem, along with a few on his nose, popped up out of no where.  Liam thinks it's so funny and loves to point at it when I ask where his freckle is.  He loves pointing to all of Joshs too.  How cute is this??

 

We have resorted to putting him in the big giant bus carts at the store to keep him entertained.  No but really if someone wants to invent one that you can actually have control over steering that would be great.  At home depot he drives his car and every single person we pass he says "Hii, I driving a car!"  of course once they acknowledge him he looks away.  The first time we let him "drive" at smiths he kept passing fellow "drivers" and they would have conversations.  I think he really thinks he's driving the car.

It wouldn't have been a normal July if Josh didn't visit insta care so last weekend we headed there after a pretty gruesome hand smashing incident.  Luckily he didn't break anything but I have never seen him in so much pain.  Being the tough guy he is he tried to shake it off when he got home from work but when I realized how bad it was I insisted on getting it looked at.  By the time we were almost there he was screaming in pain and asked me to run every red light.  It was so terrifying.  I hope to never see him so badly hurt again.  The only thing they could do for him was drill a hole in his nail to relieve some of the pressure and drain some blood.  They wrapped it up and gave him some meds.  Poor Josh.  He is doing much better now though!

Aren't Grandpa snuggle the best?

This is my most recent DIY and I am so happy with how it turned out.  I found this awesome kids chair at the DI for $6!

 

I originally painted it cream then decided how boring it looked and went for something bolder

 And the final product:

You can't see in the picture but I distressed it a little which I think made it look so much better!

Last night we went to the Bee's game.  It was everything I thought it would be.  Utter chaos.  We made the mistake of walking in on the side where the train was parked and for the rest of the night we took turns chasing him while he chased after the train.  We bribed him with lots of sugar and we even tried to get him to watch a show on my phone...yep.  We made it to the 5th inning before calling it a night.  Josh stood in line to ride the train for a good 45 minutes.  Maybe next year it will be a little more fun.

 

Baby #2

I have been so terrible at documenting this pregnancy, but what did I expect with chasing a busy almost 2 year old around all day.  Seriously some days I forget that I am even pregnant until this baby karate chops my insides or a wave of heartburn hits.  Overall though this pregnancy has been very similar to Liam's.  A little extra sleep would be nice but other than that we are just counting down.  I am definitely getting bigger and life is getting a little more interesting with picking up toys and bath time. 

A few weeks ago Liam was sitting next to me when the baby started kicking so i grabbed Liam's chubby little hand and put it on my belly.  He clearly felt him kick because the look on his face was as if he'd seen a ghost.  He proceeded to lift up my shirt staring at my stomach trying to figure out what the heck was going on.  I just laughed, pretty soon he will understand it better. 

I bought Liam a baby doll to take care of so we could get used to "the baby".  Of course I couldn't find a boy one so we bought a pink and purple baby girl, we'll sort that one out later...

 Liam loves holding his baby and giving her loves, he has even sang to her a few times.  She came with a bottle and it better be close by because Liam loves feeding her the "baba".  In fact he was so distraught that he couldn't find it in the big cardboard box of toys the other day that I had to go on a search to the bottom of the box to find it all the while Liam stood there whimpering saying "mom...baba....baba...baba."  Where do you think he got to be so dramatic from?

 One thing I will not miss about pregnancy is how dang sensitive I am.  Seriously,  I pretty much cry over everything.  Weather it is something happy, sad, or because the lady at the bees game made us wait another 10 minutes in the 45 minute line we had been standing in because Liam was to little to go alone...tears will flow.  

We are so excited for baby number two and we are perfectly fine with him cooking til 40 weeks.  While I am thrilled to have another there is a little part of me that is going to miss my alone time with my "baby Liam", especially when he curls up on my lap while his brother kicks him.  Being a mom is so incredible that I can't imagine how boring I must have been before.  Just like I can't picture my life without marrying Josh, I can't picture my life without my Liam.  I'm afraid my heart my burst when this new little one comes along from how much love I feel for my three boys.

I know these selfies are super cheesy but I knew I would regret not taking some sort of picture of this baby belly.  This is baby C at 28 weeks!